Thick Joy and Pain

I am glad to be able to shake hands with the Soldiers that are here to take our place.  It does not seem real that we are so close to going home to be with our families.  It does not seem real that I left a two month old and will soon go back to a 14 month old.  People always ask if it is hard to leave your family for a year.  I don't really ever know how to answer that.  I can tell you about what happened a week or so ago:  I called home and experienced a "first."  My oldest son picked up the phone and said, "Hello daddy," in his funny little voice.  I have never had that happen before.  When I said hello back he exclaimed, "Ethan daddy phone!" and laughed with joy.  We started singing the ABC's together and finished by exchanging sound effects.  Lindsay picked up the other phone and as we spoke, Ethan would chime in with statements about his day, what he was doing, and what he wanted.  I got more joy out of that conversation than anything I can remember.  Then, as the conversation continued I mentioned something about where I was.  The way he says Afghanistan is really funny and hoped to hear him say it again.  However, instead he got quiet and in a serious voice said, "Ethan daddy gone."  That did not, and does not take my joy away, but it cuts me deep to have a son that identifies me with being "gone." 

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So, it is a deep joy and a deep pain that I feel.  I continue to believe that deployment does not break marriages and families, but just magnifies what was already there.  That being said, I am already noticing the curiosity in myself and my Soldiers about what going home and reintegrating is going to be like. 

For those praying for us:

      I was reading Romans 8 a couple days ago and the word "Groans" in verse 18-31 stuck out to me.  Creation groans, humanity groans, and the Holy Spirit intercedes with groans on our behalf.  There are times that things are so bad that all you can do is groan.  I ask that you pray for the groans of the Soldiers going through tough times.  Specifically, that they are given the intense blessing of feeling like their groans and pains are heard.  And, that they be reminded that they have a heavenly father, family, leaders, and battle buddies that care about them.     

I finally got access to my blog!

Good Morning World!  I have finally gotten access to my blog again and wanted to post some pictures of things that have been going on over the past couple weeks. 

These first two pictures show how large and small the vehicles are here at Bagram.  Honestly it is quite entertaining to see the little white "VanGo" driving next to one of our tactical vehicles.  I keep telling everyone that I am going to buy the little van and take it home to FT. Drum.  It would easily fit into one of our containers, and once I got it home I would put all these "high-speed" stickers on it like you see on some Soldiers cars.  I have only had the privilege of driving the little van once, and its probably a good thing because everytime I would see a Soldier that was my height or taller I would pull over and offer to give them a ride just to see them try and fit into the seats.  

 They all thought that I was being nice, but its just really funny to me to see big people in this vehicle. 

Everyone likes it when the chaplain shows up with snacks!  In this pictures I am handing out snacks out of a care box that I had received the day before.  I think that I have mentioned it before, but it funny to me how many Soldiers will see me with the care supplies and, out of sheer excitement, start cussing like crazy.  "OH ------ ----- ------, the chaplain has snacks for us!"  And then, they make eye contact with me and start apologizing for their language. 

 

The picture below is the beginnings of the new addition to our office.  Well, honestly our original office was little more than a closet so this new room almost triples the amount of room that we have.  This makes my assistant very happy because he no longer has to leave when I am counseling with Soldiers.  And I am very glad that we are able to leave the "fox hole" much better than when we got here. 

A couple days ago I was given the honor of recieving the Bronse Star Medal.  This is myself and Col. Ryan, my Brigade Commander just after the ceremony.  I am very pleased to recieve this honor and owe it to my assistant who makes all my crazy ideas happen, the Soldiers that show up, and my command who is always supporting me to "be where the Soldiers are."  So to clarify, I recieved this award as an End of Tour award.  This is not due to a specific event as if I took out a whole enemy position with my bible or something like that.  It is because my command has recognized the job that I have done throughout this year to be above and beyond what I was supposed to do.  At the beginning of our deployment I had the goal of doing more battlefield circulations than anyone in the brigade except the brigade commander.  After adding all of our trips up, we have traveled almost 6500 miles in the past year. 

This is a picture of myself and my boss, the Battalion Commander, LTC Matthews.  From day one, he has always supported me and said that his goal for me was to be with Soldiers where they were.  That is a great gift to a Chaplain because it means that instead of spending our time sitting in meetings, we can be out and about getting to know the troops and ministering to them.  Oh, and the head at the bottom is my Battalion CSM Phillips.    

Below is myself and my assistant, SGT Carrasquillo just before a worship service.

This is my new home for a couple weeks.  They are force provider tents that everyone in my battalion is staying in so that our replacements can move straight into thier rooms.  I have heard a couple of negative remarks about our new living arrangments, but for the most part everyone is just really happy to be one step closer to being home! 

And below is a picture of the Bagram mountians just before sunrise on a morning that we were getting ready to fly out to another base to visit Soldiers. 

For those of you praying for us: 

      I would ask that you pray for our safety.  I dont want to spend much time on it, but there has been some craziness in the past week or so that has the potential to do a lot of harm.  My prayer is that God confuse those who have no regard for the lives of others, and keep his protection around our Soldiers, civilians, and Soldiers of other nationalities. 
     I also ask that you keep all of us and our families in your prayers.  It is an odd feeling to know that you are getting ready to go home to a family that is a year older.  And, there are some that are going home to empty homes and depleated bank accounts.